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  • #9558
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    My name is Sheri. I’m 38 years old and my husband, Jim, died on March 31, 2012 at the age of 41 after a 5.5 month battle with melanoma. Our daughter, Rachel, is only 5 years old.

    #9559

    Sheri I’m sorry to hear of your loss. If there is anything that we can do here at Widowed.ca please don’t hesitate to ask.

    #9560
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband at such a young age.

    Sheri – the best thing you can do is reach out to others. It takes time to get your feet back under you so don’t let anyone rush you and take whatever time you need.

    #9611
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sorry to hear that Sheri, I know it would take a lot of time before you can finally move on. But if there’s anything that we can do we’re here to help you out. For now, to keep your mind off of it, you have to keep yourself busy. Hang with your friends, you can shop, watch movies or go to a place where you can relax.

    #10277
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m new to this site, but I am at almost 7 months away from my wife Sara’s passing on January 30, 2013. We had been married for 22 years. It’s just me and my two children, Michael (20) and Maddy (16). It’s been a very up and down ride, I’m still getting used to being on my own, which I dislike very much. I am fortunate to have found a new job, and to have a great sister-in-law who Sara asked to be the executor. She has helped me immensely with all the dealings and that is all complete for the most part (I think and hope). I hope that time will make it easier, I’m a person that likes familiarity and it’s a definite challenge to be facing life on my own.

    #10309
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi I am Eileen.  I am new here.  My husband passed away August 23 2013 after a long illness with Kidney Cancer.  I am 46, and he passed away days before what would have been his 58th birthday on Sept. 11.

    I finally called EAP for help today.  I can’t wait to get out of work each day, and go home a bawl my eyes out.  The depression is just unbelievable.  You would think that after I cared for him for 2.5 years that I would be more accepting of all of this hell, but SURPRISE to me, I am not.  I get it, I accept it, I know he is never coming home….but the pain of the loss is just horrible.  My energy levels are flat, I eat only in spurts.  I have only cooked at home once since he died. 

    I’m glad I found this forum.  I am completely alone at home now and the silence is deafening .  I feel like I am blowing it at work, and have break downs at work, in the can, at my desk in the corner, in my car, in the parking lot….what a mess.  I just don’t see how I will ever feel better again.  I have isolated myself from my friends and family.  They cannot handle this any more than I can….Thanks for listening..Leen

     

     

     

    #10315
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    hi, I am new here too. my husband passed away Nov.27th 2012.After  a long battle of being in a wheel chair, caused by a mistake during an operation. I looked after him 24/7 during 3 years. he had diabetes too, but no troubles there. Being in a wheel chair, depending on others, from one day to the other, made him very depressed, he felt useless. he was able to walk in the pool or in the sea. this gave him happiness, freedom. he often asked me “why cant I just die?” “why did I wake up, I don’t want to live like this”.  I managed to cheer him up.. cried in silence. then we booked a holiday last November, seaside, beach..planned were 3 weeks..he enjoyed 4 days and died of a mayor heart attack. I was and still am lost in many ways. I try to be grateful that he could go without more suffering. But what about me? He left me with debts, credits, lots of questions and a complete emptiness. Our children are grown up, they have their own life. We were married for 35 years. We immigrated 10 years ago from Switzerland. I love being in Canada. I want to stay here but I am scared. scared to have to sell the house. scared to make decisions. a few friends showed that they re real friends. but in the end, I am alone. I want to be happy again, laugh again, enjoy life again….but how?

    #10329
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi I am a new widow as well. I am a Canadian living in Libya. My husband was murdered Jan 2 2013. Leaving me eight months pregnant with our first boy after five girls and being together over 21 years.he did not know I was carrying a boy although he suspected it, my pregnancy was different and he was so patient with my mood swings and constant nauseousness. I am lucky to have his family here to help me. I am also lucky he left me with a brand new house no, mortgage and no debts. It has been tough without him. He was so full of life and was EVERYTHING to me. I was just a housewife and mother, he took care of all the rest. With him around I felt so safe. We were here during the Libyan revolution and had some tough times but pulled each other through it. Now I am here raising my kids and my baby boy alone. My family was not able to visit me or come after the funeral. I have tried to keep a normal routine in the house but it is so hard to be all. Our money situation is tight and I am only getting a fraction of my supposed pension due to change in gov and lost paperwork. It has changed our lifestyle I have to budget everything which is hard with a big family and a baby. I feel like the sadness and loss is like a tattoo on my forehead. I am 42 but feel and look so much older. It is hard to find yourself one morning alone for the rest of your life. I am thankful that I have my faith and it comforts me. The idea of an afterlife and that we can send messages of mercy to our departed loved ones.Time doesn’t make it easier and I can relate to all of the above posts, there are times that I feel like there is a huge hole in my chest I can’t breathe and sometimes I just feel so empty. I cry but I try to be strong in front of the kids. I live my life one day at a time for now. Just trying to get by emotionally. As Tess said above she is scared I am too. I live in an unstable country and if I leave I will not be able to take my kids with me. I have my home but if I tried to sell it I would have to divide the money I get from it which would make it impossible for me to buy another house. I am staying put for now. Thankful to God for my beautiful children and for our health, something money can’t buy.

    #10330
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Eileen, I lost my husband of 27 years on August 13th, 2013. I am feeling the same way as you. People are trying to be nice and I just want to be left alone but I am desperately lonely. My family is worried and tries to come over and spend time with me but I can be in a room full of family and friends but still be lonely while wanting to be left alone to cry. My husband died suddenly. We went for our usual evening walk, came home and went to bed. I woke up at around 10:30 pm with him having a massive heart attack next to me. Paramedics, Police, Firemen. They couldn’t bring him back. One hour after I said goodnight to him as usual, he was gone. There are no words to describe. I am furious with him for leaving me alone and then i feel bad for being angry. How will i get through the rest of my life like this alone?

    #10350
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Martine  My Grandmother was widowed years ago, and she told me that it is normal for us to want to be homing pigeons right now. 

    The highlight of my day is to stay crawl into bed and just go to sleep.  Pretty bad for a woman who had so much going for her.  It’s been four months and I do feel a little bit better.  I am thankful that Christmas and New Years is OVER!!  And, I am still standing! 

     

    I dread the spring coming on.  I sold our Cabin Cruiser and have no idea what I am to do this summer.  I think that I will be very bored and lost

     

    Eileen

    #10408
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello.

    I too am now a 52 year old widower.  I lost my wife of 28years, on January 26, 2014, after a 9 year fight against breast cancer.  My daughter & son, who are 23, and 22, watched their mother deal with an unbelievable assortment of health problems as a result of her condition, for nearly half their lives.  We knew for 4 years that her cancer was terminal, yet it was always difficult to discuss what I would do, once she was gone.   As a widower & dad, I am now at a loss with what to do now with my life.   During the last 2 years of my wife’s illness, her care was my total focus.  There were many cherished memorable intimate days for the two of us to hold on to.  But there was also days from hell!  I am now pretty much emotionally worn out.  And not a lot of enjoyment comes my way these days.  I am also totally disinterested in working right now.  And I have tried to get back in that saddle!  My employers have been very good to me!  They allowed me to stay home and be a full time caregiver to my wife.  With her passing though, they have asked that I do now what I can to return to helping the company and reverse lagging sales.  Within a month of my wife passing away, a 28 year work colleague of mine, who had only just retired himself, also passed away!  He waited till his 60’s to retire.  All his good healthy years were spent chasing revenue enough to enjoy his golden years.  I am now feeling somewhat overwhelmed in my loneliness & despair.  With proper insurance planning that we undertook in our youth , I am now in a position, because of my wife’s passing, of having options.  Which include putting an end to my current work position, and enjoying my life the way we had always planned.  But now…alone.  I don’t want to make mistakes and be hasty, but, I don’t know anyone personally, who’s ever been in my position, to offer advise.  I have poured over countless articles telling me to “wait a year!”, but have never been one to sit on my hands.  Is calling an end to my work career being hasty and reactive?  Or should I feel every right to enjoy what’s left in my life.  Seven years ago, I too was diagnosed with “hairy cell” leukemia.  I too went through chemotherapy.  My blood for now seems clean.  But for how long?

    #10463
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    HI, I am new also. My husband of 8 years died Apri 28 2014.  It’s been a rough road. We have a big house on a huge yard and I can’t keep it up. I listed it and it sold.. in 6 days!!  So now I am searching for a new home, preferably before July 15 LOL.  He had kids, I had kids, none together, but we had 3 little dogs and I have had to re-home 2 of them because I couldn’t handle it all.  I live in a tiny town where we know no one and my kids and friends are a way from here.  I am so alone.  I feel like I should be doing something every minute.

    I went through this 11 years ago when my previous husband died of aneurysms.  At that time I was able to retire and did.  I do recommend that… life is so much better when you aren’t minding the clock.  Time for me. And then I met Stewart and he had a heart attack a month ago.

    Life is sure not predictable. I am 64 and have been married 3x.  I hate being alone.

     

    Linda

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