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Home Forums Bad Days. We all have them. I still don't believe it

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  • This topic has 14 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • #9653
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    My husband died suddenly on June 1st, 2012 at the age of 41. He left behind myself and our 2 beautiful kids ages 4 and 6. I just don’t even know where to begin. I still don’t believe he’s gone.

    #9654
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am sorry for your loss. I too am a young widow – I am 40 with two young children. My husband died of cancer May 9th at the age of 44. I still can’t believe he’s gone. I am trying to find someone that can relate to what I am going through. The widow’s groups in my area are made up of people in their 60’s and 70’s.

    #9672
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi ladies

     

    My husband died on nov 22 2011 at the age of 42 i am 40 with an 11 year old and my family all live in England has it been tough going of course it has but everyday we find ourselves getting a little bit stronger we have bad days, but the good days outway those, we have joined a great group called the lighthouse where we met up with families just like mine we chat laugh cry and walk. we have made ourselves do new things and try and live with our new normal…. i met my husband at 17 and was married at 20 it feels strange not having my best friend by my side now.

    #9673
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am so sorry to here of all of your loses. I am also 44 and lost my husband Nov20th 2011 from Cancer

    . I have to young girls 9 and 12 and feel more alone every day. Not only have I lost  a spouse and life partner I have lost friends and family and a normalcy can not be found. I find people don’t know what to do or say to me so they don’t call or visit…everyone continues on but I feel left behind. To have others that understand would be a blessing .

    #9675
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It has been 2 months since I lost my wife to cancer at the young age of 42.  She had been fighting for 9 years and we have a wonderful 10 year old son. Sure it is difficult and there are still times when I say to myself that I can’t believe she is gone, but ……

    What I think helps is that I regularly talk to my son about mom, and include memories of her in our conversations regularly. You must do this to help your child and yourself to deal with the loss. I do my best to make sure that nothing around the house has changed as far as rules and routines go, it is hard sometimes but you must maintain normalcy for you and your children. Kids  are tough and resilient, but but they are kids and they can’t be alone. I took over for my wife and lay down with my son every night to get him to sleep, as he says he doesn’t want to be alone.  I have taken the summer off work to be with my son every day because I know we need each other a lot right now.  Don’t forget about yourself though, you need time to do what you want to do as well(to an extent) ….

    I don’t know, I’m not trying to be a counselor here, but so far things are going ok and just wanted to share what I think has helped my son and I so far…..

    #9677
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    i’m tired of being in this new role after a year of doing it

    i keep going for my 3 young boys

    i’m so damn lonely

    i try to talk about the stuff other people talk about

    but inside  i just think about my wife all the time

    lonely as hell, so to speak

    Rob

    #9681
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    My husband died very suddenly in March. We have three kids together, one who turned 7 three weeks after his dad died and twins who were 14 months old at the time. It took five years to get pregnant with these babies and then to be left alone to raise all three makes no sense to me at all. I am still in shock and it feelks like a slap in the face after all those years of infertility. I would not have had three kids if I had known. I got everything I wanted and then felt like I lost it all.

    I have to be there for the kids, but some days I just don’t want to keep going.

    Krista

     

     

    #9682
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Krista

    I feel for ya – that is a heavy heavy load to carry

    i’m exhausted and depressed with my 3 boys but at least the youngest is already 4 years old

    Rob

     

    #9686
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It has been 8 years since I lost my husband to cancer, when he was of  the young age of 42.  He was  almost 10 years older than me. He passed two weeks after my son just turned 2 yrs old.

    It was a very difficult time. His mom was disagnsoed with cancer and two months after her death, he was diagnosed and passed away 10 months later.  I thought someone is testing me….

    My first priority is and will always be my son and I felt I needed to keep routine in his life at that time. So, each day I would bring him to his daycare and upon my return home, I would stop and talk to my late husband at the graveyard. It may sound really strange to some, however I found it to be very comforting..to talk and cry..to miss him..and over time, to finally let go and say good-bye.

    As Rich had said, I too did the same and spoke to my son of his father. That is one promsie I made he would never forget who his father is. He was a great dad and husband. It took us 8 years to finally have a child, so he is a pretty special gift too me. I am thankful every day for him and know he was my strength and pulled me through. Even though it has been 8 years snce his passing, my son and I still talk about him, look at photos I had to put our family pet of 11 years down, 3 mths after my husband passed and to this day my son rstill remebers him and says that he is with his daddy in heaven.

     

     

    #10216
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I lost my wife last year.  She left behind a lot of love.

    I miss her every day and coming home to her.

    I’ve been raising my daughter on my own since then.

    I did some thinking after reading through the forums and realized that I’ve been doing so for eighteen months now and she was only fifteen months when her Mom died.

    Funny how quickly time goes by.

    I remember sitting on the couch staring at the tv that was turned off for two weeks while I tried to decide if I could raise a little girl by myself or if she would be better off if I gave her away to a loving family and finally realized that the only way to find out was to try.

    So here I am.  Crying while I type this.

    Eighteen months and the pain is still there.

    At least my daughter is doing well nowadays.

    I’ve had some opportunities to try and get better but they are rare.

    Working and being a parent and now moving is all-consuming and exhausting.

    I wish that I had something profound to say about my experiences but all I can think of is to go to bed early and get lots of sleep when you’re a young widow with kids.

    #10275
    Anonymous
    Inactive

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    #10286
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It’s been more then 3 years for me, and I still don’t believe it. i lost my wife of 24 years at the age of 44, and it still hurts. I was told that time would cure the hurt, all that it has done is stop the bleeding.

     

    #10287
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It’s new.

    Just over a month since I lost my best friend and husband suddenly at 55.

    I am finding it difficult to eat and sleep and sometimes even breathe.

    #10288
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am sorry for your profound loss Angela, the first weeks, months and year for that matter was the hardest for me. The waves of emotion, and all the first that you will experience in the first year will be tough to take. Just try to keep busy and distracted, wether it be work, kids, hobbies, or anything else. Just get lost in it, and when the waves come just try to breath through it. I remember the grocery store was a  bad balance for me…I spend a lot of time with my face in the freezer sections.

    #10305
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Disbelief …..

    I lost my best friend and husband of 19 years suddenly at the end of August. We were high school sweethearts and best friends for 31 years.  We have a 4-1/2 yr old son that we had by IVF. We travelled the world together and he saved his sisters life 5 years ago with the gift of his bone marrow.  I feel blessed that I had him for so many years but can’t imagine the next 31 years without him.  He was happy, healthy, very fit, no symptoms and died of a heart attack at 45 years old.

    Now where do I start……

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