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Home Forums Bad Days. We all have them. Bad Days (We All Have Them)

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  • #9473
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I thought I would put this out there and see what everyone else thinks…comments appreciated.

    Bad days – we all have them. One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that pain, while soul-crushing, is manageable. The pain can steal my peace but it does leave behind experience. This experience is more valuable then gold because it is what armors me against the emptiness and gives me the capability to help other widows.

    My bad days are fewer as the years go on, but they are still part of my own journey. Discouraging feelings keep you thinking about what you can’t do instead of what you can do. They can stop you from doing anything except feeling sorry for yourself. We can’t fix everything and sometimes life just isn’t fair. But through all this I have friends and family that I love and who love me.

    Stop and think – You don’t have to stay discouraged. Don’t listen to that gloomy inner voice that says “I’ll never be happy again”. We all have a choice and we can work to change our inner voice and refuse to be discouraged. Take one step at a time and think of what positive things you have in your life.

    It’s easy to get discouraged about all aspects of your life when you are grieving. Take positive steps on your journey from grieving to healing by being good to yourself.

    #9471
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you for your words Mary Francis…..

    As someone who has felt that soul-crushing pain, your words speak wisdom and truth. I am of the mind set that when life throws us curve balls, we have 2 choices.. Sink or Swim…..to sink may be the easier of the 2 choices when your life seems to be covered with grey clouds, however to swim is truly the only choice to make. Even though we may feel as if we are swimming against the tide, and it is hard work to keep a float……don’t ever give up. There are 2 things that I live by every day…..and as silly as they may sound when the world seems to have crashed down on you, they have helped me to get up and “swim” when life just seemed too heavy……

    ” There is always a silver lining in the a cloudy day. Just keep looking until you find it….” and ” If we don’t fall, then we will never truly appreciate how to stand”

    I agree with Mary Francis …..positive steps on this stair case of life lead you to the top where the sun shines brighter.

    #9496
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you Mary and Tara. After eleven years on this journey I have found the tools that help me stay positive. The first one is gratitude. I used to think I was grateful, that’s just it, my gratitude was at a thinking level and not truly at the feeling level. I still have to practice this daily on a concious level but it does make my world a much more hopeful and brighter place. The second tool was allowing myself to be vulnerable. This was the most difficult. Without allowing yourself to be vulnerable you can’t open your heart to let all the good things in. I have finally found a comfortable place in my heart where my husband lives. It is a space of peace and joy rather than pain and suffering. It can be a long journey but the destination is achievable.

    #9500
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I welcome Tara and Marylou for your insight into the grief journey.

    Widows need to keep positive and Tara is right some days it is like swimming against the tide and that we should never give up.

    I loved reading what Marylou had to say. A widow of eleven years has a lot of wisdom to share and it is reassuring to read that there is peace and joy as time passes.

    #9603
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Great post. I agree having been a young widow, there are more bad days in the beginning. Then we have a choice to make. As we make those positive steps in our lives, the sunshine does come out again and the good days eventually out do the bad ones:)

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