Thank you.

Barbara Talbot

We would like to express our deepest gratitude to you for all your hard work and incredible effort in trying to provide the best for our family with this recent mortgage. Words could never express how much we appreciate what you have done. You came to us just in time! We understand what you have done for us. Please know how grateful we are to you for your generosity and kindness. You have truly done more than you should have and we could never repay you for your kindness. We certainly know who to send our friends and family to if they are ever in need of mortgage assistance. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Love, Sara and Giancarlo.

All of your comments have resonated with me. I am deeply sorry for everyone’s loss. I also know the incredible pain and sense of being completely alone in a vastly populated universe. Despite all those people, the one person I want is no longer here. It is just too unbelievable to really comprehend. The one and only thing we have to grasp on to is hope. Like Sylvie I too read every book I could get my hands on about grief. In the beginning it helped me to read about someone else’s story and somehow removed me for just an instant of time from my own. Like Garth I write to my husband, not as often now, but on occasion. I needed to continue telling him about how our three children were faring, what they were up to, and who they were becoming. And Wendy I cannot imagine how you cope raising your sons without their father. Like so many others before you, they and you will adjust, but no one asked for this or could even imagine having to cope with something so difficult right in the middle of life.
My husband Ian died in the middle of the night from some genetic heart condition for which he had no symptoms and we were completely unaware that it existed. He was the healthiest person I know. And an amazing father to our three kids. They are suffering. Our eldest is male and was 17. It has been almost three years, and he has not been able to put any amount of effort into his studies. I’m pretty sure it must be due to depression as he was a decent student and took pride in his work all through high school. The other two are girls and were 12 and 13 when their dear dad died. I have some idea of the amount of pain they are in, but it is still too painful to talk about. I know we need to be doing that, but any time I bring it up, I cry and then they are upset. So we just carry on without any formal way of including their dad in our lives. It is not ideal, but I don’t really know how else to get by.
And Garth I understand the difficulties you have with work related issues. I have been a stay at home parent all these years our kids were growing up. It allowed Ian to focus on his work without worrying about home. You do not have that privilege. You have to do it all now which is no easy feat. I have pursued another degree since Ian’s death in order to reenter the work place. However this is proving to be more difficult than originally planned. Pretty sure some depression and lack of focus just gets in the way of really knowing how to apply myself to a job search and work life.
Anyway, that’s my story. Glad I happened on this site. It does help to reach out to strangers and write down the thoughts and concerns going through my head, and also to read about what others are going through. So thank you all for your posts. My heart goes out to all of you. Losing a spouse is absolutely heartbreaking. I had no idea. But the collateral damage is no picnic either–loss of confidence, loss of friends, loss of feeling like I am a legitimate person.
Take care, all
–Beth